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Category Archives: Figuring Things Out

Is Something Supposed to Happen?

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Mary Poppins is a favorite movie among the girls in our family. I remember the first time I watched it with our oldest. It had been years and years since I had seen the movie, and yet, I could recite not just the songs, but most of the script too. It’s funny how our brains do that! If only I could remember important things like that! I have always loved the chalk drawing scene where Mary Poppins, Burt, Jane and Michael hop into Burt’s country-side chalk drawing. It’s comical before they actually jump in because Burt attempts to get them into the drawing. Remember, “First you wink, you do a double blink, then JUMP!” Upon realizing they are still standing on the street, sweet Jane looks up and says, “Is something supposed to happen?”

I’ve been saying, “Is something supposed to happen” to myself since last night when I devoured an entire plate of a delicious pasta dish I made with traditional semolina pasta. It was terrifying, exciting and very strange to be eating that pasta after so long. I took those first few bites cautiously, trying not to psych myself out and create side effects that weren’t really there. I finished my plate of food and even took the last leftover bites on my daughter’s plate and went on with my evening. Honestly, I strongly expected to be miserable. Doubled over in pain…stuck in the bathroom…horrible headache. Just plain sick. I hardly got a tummy ache. WHAT? Yes, my stomach felt, I don’t know, surprised by this foreign ingredient, but hostile to it? Not so much. I sort of felt dizzy a couple of times, but nothing to write home about.

This afternoon, I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a piece of wheat bread. My stomach stirred on it for a bit, but nothing painful, just again, it seems a bit surprised. This is so weird to me. What I am noticing, however, is that my arms feel like they are burning and they are weak. Like, if I try to tighten my hands into a fist, I don’t have as much strength as usual. Who knows.

When I decided with my doctor yesterday to pursue the endoscopy and to eat gluten again for the test, it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t have a reaction to it (at least not a intestinal/stomach reaction). I was trying to mentally prepare myself for 2 weeks of feeling awful and never entertained the thought I wouldn’t be sick. Since I am not having that reaction, I, of course, have all sorts of things going through my mind. What if gluten isn’t my problem? What if I don’t have Celiac? What if I have spent the past 11 months educating myself on the ins and outs of gluten-free cooking, baking and living and I am going to find out I don’t have to live gluten-free? Wow.

To say that I feel confused is an understatement. Which brings me to another line in Mary Poppins that is floating around in my head. “Burt, what utter nonsense.”


Time for Testing

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Hi blog friends!

Nope, I haven’t forgotten about you. Life has just been busy. You too?

So, I haven’t been feeling well. The past month or so, a lot of my pre gluten-free symptoms were rearing their ugly heads along with some new ones – I’ll spare you the details. I have just plain felt awful. So, today I went back to my GI doctor to discuss my options. You might remember from my story post that I didn’t have the endoscopy to test for Celiac. I did the anti-body panel and bloodwork (which came back inconclusive), but because I had already gone gluten-free and was feeling better, I didn’t see the point in eating gluten again to have the test. The treatment for Celiac is gluten-free living, so as far as I was concerned, I didn’t need to know for sure. I’d just stick to gluten-free and feel better – Like I had been.

Fast-forward to the last month and how crummy I have been feeling. Low energy, some joint pain, headaches, tummy issues – I know something isn’t right. So, today I explored all my options with my doctor and we both agreed that more tests need to be done. While my DR originally thought I was Celiac based on my symptoms and the elimination of those symptoms by being gluten-free, today she told me she isn’t as confident. With so many of my symptoms returning, could it really be? Well, yes, it could be Celiac and it might be with something else going on. We just can’t know until they get a good look inside of me. So, first step is the endoscopy. As of right now, I am planning to start eating gluten again (gulp). My test is scheduled for 12 days from today, Friday October 28th. I have always preached the, “you must eat gluten for at least 3 weeks before testing” standard, but at this point – having not taken that first bite of gluten again – I am not sure I can last a full 3 weeks. The times I have glutened myself, I have been so miserable that 3 full weeks of that sounds torturous if not impossible. I have a life to live! So, I don’t really know how the next 2 weeks will go or if I’ll even be able to do it. What’s going to be REALLY weird is if I don’t have any issues (which seems very unlikely). They will be doing the biopsy to test for the Celiac, but also doing biopsies in my stomach as well. I’ll also be having a lower scope at some point. Jealous, right? 🙂

Beth watched my youngest today so I could go to my appointment and when I got back I asked her if she thinks I am going the right thing. She said yes. Then, I asked her what she would eat for her first gluten meal. Without hesitating, she said her favorite pizza place. 🙂 So, now I am trying to be hopeful and decide what I should eat that I have gone without for the past 11 months. What would you eat if you could have your favorite gluten containing food?

I might be posting updates over the next couple of weeks…please pray for me if you think of it. That I would be able to tolerate the gluten for the next 12 days and that the tests would give valuable info! Thanks!

So why am I testing